Pretty much everything Elon Musk does these days is out there — like, way out there. From shooting a Tesla into space, to founding an entire company because he didn’t like L.A. traffic (no, really), Musk and the various companies he’s founded are constantly pushing the boundaries of tech and innovation.
His latest endeavor is an actual flamethrower, or rather, Not-A-Flamethrower. It looks a bit like an Airsoft rifle that’s been modified to shoot flames, and we can’t believe this is something that was actually available for purchase (it has since sold out). Yet, with 20,000 Not-A-Flamethrowers sold, according to Boring Company’s website, it looks like this crazy idea is actually happening.
There isn’t much to be gleaned from the product page for the flamethrower anymore since it’s no longer available for purchase, but the fine print on that page, coupled with the fact that this is an Elon Musk project, may have tipped you off that this whole venture was going play out like most pre-orders.
Read on to see what buyers of the Not-A-Flamethrower actually got as their terms and conditions, because they’re pretty amazing. Unlike most of the terms and conditions you’ll read in your lifetime — or let’s be honest, not read — you’ll want to stick around for this one. This is far from your standard legalese.
The first page of the terms and conditions seems pretty standard. You have your “Not-A-Flamethrower Terms and Conditions” written across the top, so you know you’re in the right place. Directly below that, though, is something that looks a lot like an “I accept these terms and conditions” clause. Upon closer inspection, however, you’ll realize something is a little off. Checking a lot of boxes? Why would they say it like that? Oh, just wait.
If you managed to not miss the rhyme portion on the original product page, it’s hard to miss the actual rhyme included in the Not-A-Flamethrower’s terms and conditions. It’s not a very good rhyme, but whoever wrote it seems to be aware of that. All that’s left to do is check the box (because we guess you agree with the fact that the rhyme wasn’t very good or something?).
Next, you’ll be presented with a “I understand The Boring Company isn’t responsible for anything I do with this product” clause, which is actually really important considering the company is about to give the gift of projectile fire to nearly a quarter of a million people. However, it goes a little farther than the fact that they aren’t legally responsible for the harm you may cause yourself or others, but also loss of property from “burning things to the ground” or when “showing off to your friends and romantic interests.”
There are a few real scenarios interspersed throughout these conditions because, as far as we know, these are the actual terms and conditions of the device. That being the case, Boring also wants to point out that you can’t resell or return the flamethrower if you don’t like it.
The first — and probably last — production run for the Not-a-Flamethrower is slated to wrap up in the next couple of months, with shipping dates now set for the end of spring. Hopefully, whoever is buying these fire guns are going to take owning them more seriously than the people who are actually selling them.